Summary: In this post, I take this opportunity to share what I've recently learned with you. With whom will you share your new knowledge?
Last week, I attended a roundtable discussion for local small business owners. The moderator of the event did an excellent job of keeping us all on-track as a group and making sure that, as individuals, we had ample opportunity to share our thoughts and questions.
She also caught my attention immediately. And if you've ever read this blog (or met me) before, you won't be surprised when I tell you how: Her first words were, "How many of you are familiar with the word panacea?" I sat up at attention. Until her lesson, I was only generally familiar with the word. I mispronounced it (even there in front of my peers) and I had its definition wrong! In my mind, I put the accent on the second syllable. Even now, I must confess, it's going to be hard to remember not to do that. And I knew it had something to do with--well, everything--but I didn't know exactly what.
In actuality, this is the definition and pronunciation:
Panacea (PAN - uh - SEE - uh) - (n.) a cure-all. From two Greek words, pan (all) and akos (remedy), this Latin word earned its English usage around 1548. Conjugating this word follows basic grammar guidelines, such as panacean as the adjective form.
Just for fun, I Googled the word using the news option to seek out its most popular current uses. Here are some examples that I found:
"... to suggest that more Republicans on Capitol Hill will be some kind of panacea for the economy and the stock market is simply delusional." - Michael K. Farr, CNBC contributor
"(Retail Distribution Review) clearly presents a huge opportunity for the investment trust industry, but it is not going to be of itself a panacea or a reason for investment trusts to surge ahead." - Richard Pavry, Director of Investment Trusts, Jupiter Asset Management
"... science's many groundbreaking and and life-changing discoveries led some people to think science was a 'panacea' and that science might be able to 'answer all of the questions of man's existence, and even his aspirations' ...." - Carol Glatz, Catholic News Service writer, quoting Pope Benedict XVI
"Understand that whomever you decide to vote for in this election, the winner will not be panacea to everything that is wrong with the economy." - Lynn (Massachusetts) Journal staff writers
"With data capping labeled undesirable by consumers and unlimited data plans financially unsustainable for carriers, load balancing with Wi-Fi is at least a partial panacea." - Dave Fraser, contributor to Converge! Network Digest
This last quote is probably my favorite, simply because of its oxymoronic nature. ... And, yes, it's okay to ask what that means or to simply look it up! Don't stay in the dark like I apparently did.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Showing posts with label communicate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communicate. Show all posts
Nov 1, 2010
Oct 1, 2010
Do You Make the Sunshine (or Do You Make the Rain)?
Summary: Moods and weather go hand-in-hand. But how often do you associate a good mood with bad weather? Today's post gives you a 4-step how-to guide to feeling good (and spreading the love) no matter what it's like outside.
October 1, 2010 is a date to remember—for me, that is. It's my husband's birthday, as well as a beautiful day with near-perfect temperatures. Fall is one of my favorite times of year to begin with; this just gives me another reason to celebrate.
I spoke with my mom when she phoned to wish Hubby a happy b-day, and I asked her, "What should I blog about today?" Her answer was, "Does Your Mood Match the Weather?"
Then she framed it in a light I'd never considered: "Do you get blue when it's dark and gloomy out or do you make your own sunshine and light up the lives of people around you?"
"Wow," I thought. "I've never considered this!"
My mom is definitely someone who does the latter on a pretty regular basis. She, like me, knows what it's like to feel blue contagiously. Gloomy days make for gloomy outlooks. But I remember in my childhood when the rain kept my sisters and me indoors, and the three of us would get cabin fever and start bickering and fighting; it was then that our mother often suggested new games for us to play to enliven our spirits. Today, I know that Mom still reaches into the depths of her resolve to share sunshine with her friends, family and co-workers whenever she feels foul weather creeping up on herself or those around her. Her sunny disposition is contagious, too, just like negativity so often is.
What's your automatic disposition? Is it affected by the weather? If so, you might try a little experiment next time to see if YOU can spread a little sunshine.
How to Spread Sunshine:
1. Think of something or someone that makes you happy, like a favorite hobby, a good friend you've recently seen or a beloved pet. Now imagine how good you felt the last time you were engaged in that activity or with that friend/furry friend.
2. Notice how good you feel in your body during these thoughts. Smile. Imagine that feeling spreading like warmth, and smile some more.
3. As you are conscious of this good feeling, seek out someone near you (co-worker, neighbor, spouse, child, etc.) and smile at him or her. Pay that person a sincere compliment or perform another act of kindness (i.e., hold a door open or offer to help weed the garden). If they thank you, be sure to say, "You're welcome,"—and mean it!
4. Again, notice how good you feel in your body. Smile and even hum a happy tune if you like. You deserve it, Sunshine!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
October 1, 2010 is a date to remember—for me, that is. It's my husband's birthday, as well as a beautiful day with near-perfect temperatures. Fall is one of my favorite times of year to begin with; this just gives me another reason to celebrate.
I spoke with my mom when she phoned to wish Hubby a happy b-day, and I asked her, "What should I blog about today?" Her answer was, "Does Your Mood Match the Weather?"
Then she framed it in a light I'd never considered: "Do you get blue when it's dark and gloomy out or do you make your own sunshine and light up the lives of people around you?"
"Wow," I thought. "I've never considered this!"
My mom is definitely someone who does the latter on a pretty regular basis. She, like me, knows what it's like to feel blue contagiously. Gloomy days make for gloomy outlooks. But I remember in my childhood when the rain kept my sisters and me indoors, and the three of us would get cabin fever and start bickering and fighting; it was then that our mother often suggested new games for us to play to enliven our spirits. Today, I know that Mom still reaches into the depths of her resolve to share sunshine with her friends, family and co-workers whenever she feels foul weather creeping up on herself or those around her. Her sunny disposition is contagious, too, just like negativity so often is.
What's your automatic disposition? Is it affected by the weather? If so, you might try a little experiment next time to see if YOU can spread a little sunshine.
How to Spread Sunshine:
1. Think of something or someone that makes you happy, like a favorite hobby, a good friend you've recently seen or a beloved pet. Now imagine how good you felt the last time you were engaged in that activity or with that friend/furry friend.
2. Notice how good you feel in your body during these thoughts. Smile. Imagine that feeling spreading like warmth, and smile some more.
3. As you are conscious of this good feeling, seek out someone near you (co-worker, neighbor, spouse, child, etc.) and smile at him or her. Pay that person a sincere compliment or perform another act of kindness (i.e., hold a door open or offer to help weed the garden). If they thank you, be sure to say, "You're welcome,"—and mean it!
4. Again, notice how good you feel in your body. Smile and even hum a happy tune if you like. You deserve it, Sunshine!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Sep 9, 2010
How to Think Your Way to a Better Future
Summary: From bumper stickers to résumés, today's post covers the gamut. It's all about how to change your thinking, so you can be open to life's opportunities ...
Do you ever read bumper stickers on the cars in front of you? Yesterday on the expressway, I passed a car with so many bumper stickers, I thought it had been attacked by graffiti ... until I got a little closer to it. Then I laughed!
Can a bumper sticker really change someone's mind? Maybe not. But chances are that if someone believes the slogan, it can certainly help to solidify a belief. And if a belief is really solid, it becomes that person's reality—or in other words, his or her truth.
So, if a bumper sticker—something you read in passing—can have that much power, imagine what an affirmation can do for you.
If you or someone you love suffers from depression, chances are the real culprit (next to those pesky brain chemicals that genetically predispose you or them to depressed states) is your thinking. The way we think has a major impact on our world, from the clothes we wear to the people we surround ourselves with to even the careers we pursue. For instance, so many clients come to me for résumé-related communications packages who are simply looking to change jobs, but they admit they don't have any direction on where to go next except simply "out of here." These clients ask for a generic résumé that they think will snag them their ticket to freedom. But the truth is they're actually limiting their options by not envisioning themselves as worthy of any specific next step to career growth.
I love working with clients like these, because I was once in their shoes. In my late 20s, the job I'd loved became the job I resented, simply because the path I initially envisioned for myself was not available to me there. But I was too afraid to leave the job security and strike out on my own. Today, when I can help clients to admit their worth to themselves, I get the chance to watch them make peace with their present jobs and to keep their relationships with their current employers intact as they look for something more suited to them.
Don't let fear of the economy stop you from seeking your true calling. Don't let depression rule your perspective in any aspect of life. To learn more about the secret, nagging doubts that can sneak attack your brain, check out The Mindful Way through Depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn et. al. or download the Speak Your Truth e-workbook. And change the way you think about your life and your opportunities today.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Do you ever read bumper stickers on the cars in front of you? Yesterday on the expressway, I passed a car with so many bumper stickers, I thought it had been attacked by graffiti ... until I got a little closer to it. Then I laughed!
Can a bumper sticker really change someone's mind? Maybe not. But chances are that if someone believes the slogan, it can certainly help to solidify a belief. And if a belief is really solid, it becomes that person's reality—or in other words, his or her truth.
So, if a bumper sticker—something you read in passing—can have that much power, imagine what an affirmation can do for you.
If you or someone you love suffers from depression, chances are the real culprit (next to those pesky brain chemicals that genetically predispose you or them to depressed states) is your thinking. The way we think has a major impact on our world, from the clothes we wear to the people we surround ourselves with to even the careers we pursue. For instance, so many clients come to me for résumé-related communications packages who are simply looking to change jobs, but they admit they don't have any direction on where to go next except simply "out of here." These clients ask for a generic résumé that they think will snag them their ticket to freedom. But the truth is they're actually limiting their options by not envisioning themselves as worthy of any specific next step to career growth.
I love working with clients like these, because I was once in their shoes. In my late 20s, the job I'd loved became the job I resented, simply because the path I initially envisioned for myself was not available to me there. But I was too afraid to leave the job security and strike out on my own. Today, when I can help clients to admit their worth to themselves, I get the chance to watch them make peace with their present jobs and to keep their relationships with their current employers intact as they look for something more suited to them.
Don't let fear of the economy stop you from seeking your true calling. Don't let depression rule your perspective in any aspect of life. To learn more about the secret, nagging doubts that can sneak attack your brain, check out The Mindful Way through Depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn et. al. or download the Speak Your Truth e-workbook. And change the way you think about your life and your opportunities today.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Aug 18, 2010
This Week's Brain Challenge: Depression
Summary: Today's post starts off a series on depression and communication.
"I'm depressed!" How many times have you heard this said--or even said it yourself? Your answer depends in large part upon the way your brain works.
The fact is, everyone's brains are different. However, many parts of our brains are similar; just read this ThinkQuest post--complete with illustrations--for a little "for instance" on brain damage and communication. As it explains, the sections that control various purposes in the brain have general locations of commonality. But even those can differ from person to person.
Similarly, our brains function with neurons as connectors, as well as with certain chemicals (found in the limbic system), like serotonin, dopamine and derivative chemicals like adrenaline. A long explanation can be found here, for those of you who are more academically inclined to understand this process. But the bottom line is: The brain is a precious thing, and it's also very powerful. Any disruption in the careful balance of chemicals in your brain can cause reactions that are out of the range of 'normal'--reactions that include the disease of depression.
Over the next several posts, we'll be looking at depression in a variety of forms, as well as ways depression can affect your communication skills and abilities, even if you aren't the person who's suffering from it. We'll also examine how you can improve your ability to speak and to listen more clearly when depression is a part of the message.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
"I'm depressed!" How many times have you heard this said--or even said it yourself? Your answer depends in large part upon the way your brain works.
The fact is, everyone's brains are different. However, many parts of our brains are similar; just read this ThinkQuest post--complete with illustrations--for a little "for instance" on brain damage and communication. As it explains, the sections that control various purposes in the brain have general locations of commonality. But even those can differ from person to person.
Similarly, our brains function with neurons as connectors, as well as with certain chemicals (found in the limbic system), like serotonin, dopamine and derivative chemicals like adrenaline. A long explanation can be found here, for those of you who are more academically inclined to understand this process. But the bottom line is: The brain is a precious thing, and it's also very powerful. Any disruption in the careful balance of chemicals in your brain can cause reactions that are out of the range of 'normal'--reactions that include the disease of depression.
Over the next several posts, we'll be looking at depression in a variety of forms, as well as ways depression can affect your communication skills and abilities, even if you aren't the person who's suffering from it. We'll also examine how you can improve your ability to speak and to listen more clearly when depression is a part of the message.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Jul 14, 2010
This Week's Brain Challenge: Attention Deficit Disorder
Summary: Starting off our series on overcoming brain challenges during communication, we address ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) in both adults and children. This overview provides some great tips and links.
Brain challenges can be categorized under almost every letter of the alphabet. Let's start off our series on the unique communications strategies needed for people with "challenged brains" at the top of the alphabet: with ADD, or Attention Deficit Disorder.
Also sometimes called Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), ADD is prevalent in children and adults who have an obviously hard time sitting still for any lengthy period. Children "fidget" frequently when they're young. But after the age of 7, it's common for them to begin learning to sit still when appropriate, such as during school lessons or worship services. Adults also wiggle and squirm when their minds are on something else--extreme worries about their children in the next room, for example. However, if you are an adult (or the parent of a child) who cannot be still on any given day, you may consider learning more about ADD.
Those with the ADD diagnosis also face other challenges:
- lack of focus / inability to concentrate on one subject at a time;
- high energy levels;
- chronic disorganization.
What this looks like to the outsider is:
- distraction away from the conversation or task at hand, either by looking elsewhere or by regularly asking the speaker to repeat what's just been said; making simple mistakes in work;
- extreme "playfulness" (jumping, skipping, and general horsing around of a physical nature that can sometimes unwittingly violate another person's space boundaries); also loudness of voice;
- constantly losing items or forgetting dates and times and other important information.
As a business professional, parent or otherwise responsible adult, how do you overcome the extreme challenges of ADD to be successful in the world? How do you communicate with others appropriately--especially when you have a hard time even hearing them in the first place? Below are some practical tips for minimizing your own communications struggles with ADD.
(1) Be aware of yourself. The more you know your limitations, the more you're able to expand them. Later this week, we'll discuss some specific ways you can become more self-aware.
(2) Improve your concentration. There are a number of online games to help you on this front. Brain games are an excellent way to mitigate brain challenges. Check out this one from Lumosity that's designed to train your attention.
(3) Rely on external resources. You can stay organized better by using organizational tools. Most smart cell phones have alarm clock and calendar applications that come in very handy (pun intended) when you use them on the go wherever you are. If you are less electronically inclined, you can purchase a datebook and carry it with you to stay on track. Some styles even have pockets and pouches for important items like credit cards, keys, and whatever else you prize (but can't seem to find).
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Brain challenges can be categorized under almost every letter of the alphabet. Let's start off our series on the unique communications strategies needed for people with "challenged brains" at the top of the alphabet: with ADD, or Attention Deficit Disorder.
Also sometimes called Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), ADD is prevalent in children and adults who have an obviously hard time sitting still for any lengthy period. Children "fidget" frequently when they're young. But after the age of 7, it's common for them to begin learning to sit still when appropriate, such as during school lessons or worship services. Adults also wiggle and squirm when their minds are on something else--extreme worries about their children in the next room, for example. However, if you are an adult (or the parent of a child) who cannot be still on any given day, you may consider learning more about ADD.
Those with the ADD diagnosis also face other challenges:
- lack of focus / inability to concentrate on one subject at a time;
- high energy levels;
- chronic disorganization.
What this looks like to the outsider is:
- distraction away from the conversation or task at hand, either by looking elsewhere or by regularly asking the speaker to repeat what's just been said; making simple mistakes in work;
- extreme "playfulness" (jumping, skipping, and general horsing around of a physical nature that can sometimes unwittingly violate another person's space boundaries); also loudness of voice;
- constantly losing items or forgetting dates and times and other important information.
As a business professional, parent or otherwise responsible adult, how do you overcome the extreme challenges of ADD to be successful in the world? How do you communicate with others appropriately--especially when you have a hard time even hearing them in the first place? Below are some practical tips for minimizing your own communications struggles with ADD.
(1) Be aware of yourself. The more you know your limitations, the more you're able to expand them. Later this week, we'll discuss some specific ways you can become more self-aware.
(2) Improve your concentration. There are a number of online games to help you on this front. Brain games are an excellent way to mitigate brain challenges. Check out this one from Lumosity that's designed to train your attention.
(3) Rely on external resources. You can stay organized better by using organizational tools. Most smart cell phones have alarm clock and calendar applications that come in very handy (pun intended) when you use them on the go wherever you are. If you are less electronically inclined, you can purchase a datebook and carry it with you to stay on track. Some styles even have pockets and pouches for important items like credit cards, keys, and whatever else you prize (but can't seem to find).
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Jul 8, 2010
Poll Results: Do You Have a Challenged Brain?
Summary: The latest poll question has been answered and closed. You shared openly and honestly about your brain challenges. Now let's explore more together, over the coming weeks, about the communications challenges they present you and how you can grow to overcome them.
I've already asked if you have a challenged brain. Many of us do--most certainly when we're worked up emotionally. But other challenges can pressure our brains, our bodies, our outlook on life. Some examples you know are:
- Attention Deficit Disorder, also known as ADD or ADHD (for Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): Commonly diagnosed in children, this brain challenge can also affect adults, especially those who have had it since childhood. It's commonly characterized by difficulty focusing or paying close attention to one subject at a time; simple mistakes in tasks or homework that are made even when the person knows the right answer or the correct way of performing tasks; chronic disorganization and forgetfulness. (Tara McGillicuddy, a blogger who not only coaches people with ADHD, but also has it herself, just posted about a workshop she'll be presenting this fall on self-advocacy strategies for adults and teens.)
- Mood disorders: These run the gamut from short-term and seasonal depression to Type I Bipolar Disorder, which can contain periodic hallucinations and psychosis. Substance-induced mood disorders can mirror other such brain challenges, but are only brought on by the intake of substances like drugs and alcohol and/or their withdrawal from the body/brain. (Some mood-related blogs I recommend are Julie Fast's "Bipolar Happens," "My Son Has 2 Brains"--a mother's perspective on raising a young child with a mood disorder--and Helia's health blog about Seasonal Affective Disorder.)
- Autism: A brain challenge that may or may not involve brain chemistry, but definitely involves the size and shape of the brain and its hemispheres, autism--like most brain challenges--appears on a sliding scale, or spectrum. People with High Functioning Autism and Aspgerger Syndrome have the ability to socialize, but are often somewhat confused by the hidden 'rules' of social life and society. This confusion becomes increasingly deeper the further you go into the autism spectrum; those with full-blown autism frequently seem to live inside their own heads, rarely communicating verbally with others, except via sound bites they may have taken from TV shows, music and movies. (From a parent's perspective, "The Joy of Autism" is an interesting blog; from that of someone with an autistic brain, visit "Aspitude!")
Of those who voted, only one reader indicated, "My brain is only challenged whenever I am emotional," meaning that several of you with additional challenges were interested in this poll.
What didn't I include in the poll? Psychiatric and personality disorders like schizophrenia and Borderline Personality Disorder, Oppositional/Defiant Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder are just a few. I could also have listed other learning disorders or challenges that affect the senses like deafness or blindness. (Incidentally, the blogger at "Aspitude!", Elisia Ashkenazy, is also profoundly deaf.)
All brain challenges can be 'overcome' through hard work and a desire to grow. The first step is recognition. Over the coming weeks, let's look at some specific challenges to communicating clearly that these and other brain challenges give you. More importantly, let's solve some challenges--together!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
I've already asked if you have a challenged brain. Many of us do--most certainly when we're worked up emotionally. But other challenges can pressure our brains, our bodies, our outlook on life. Some examples you know are:
- Attention Deficit Disorder, also known as ADD or ADHD (for Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): Commonly diagnosed in children, this brain challenge can also affect adults, especially those who have had it since childhood. It's commonly characterized by difficulty focusing or paying close attention to one subject at a time; simple mistakes in tasks or homework that are made even when the person knows the right answer or the correct way of performing tasks; chronic disorganization and forgetfulness. (Tara McGillicuddy, a blogger who not only coaches people with ADHD, but also has it herself, just posted about a workshop she'll be presenting this fall on self-advocacy strategies for adults and teens.)
- Mood disorders: These run the gamut from short-term and seasonal depression to Type I Bipolar Disorder, which can contain periodic hallucinations and psychosis. Substance-induced mood disorders can mirror other such brain challenges, but are only brought on by the intake of substances like drugs and alcohol and/or their withdrawal from the body/brain. (Some mood-related blogs I recommend are Julie Fast's "Bipolar Happens," "My Son Has 2 Brains"--a mother's perspective on raising a young child with a mood disorder--and Helia's health blog about Seasonal Affective Disorder.)
- Autism: A brain challenge that may or may not involve brain chemistry, but definitely involves the size and shape of the brain and its hemispheres, autism--like most brain challenges--appears on a sliding scale, or spectrum. People with High Functioning Autism and Aspgerger Syndrome have the ability to socialize, but are often somewhat confused by the hidden 'rules' of social life and society. This confusion becomes increasingly deeper the further you go into the autism spectrum; those with full-blown autism frequently seem to live inside their own heads, rarely communicating verbally with others, except via sound bites they may have taken from TV shows, music and movies. (From a parent's perspective, "The Joy of Autism" is an interesting blog; from that of someone with an autistic brain, visit "Aspitude!")
Of those who voted, only one reader indicated, "My brain is only challenged whenever I am emotional," meaning that several of you with additional challenges were interested in this poll.
What didn't I include in the poll? Psychiatric and personality disorders like schizophrenia and Borderline Personality Disorder, Oppositional/Defiant Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder are just a few. I could also have listed other learning disorders or challenges that affect the senses like deafness or blindness. (Incidentally, the blogger at "Aspitude!", Elisia Ashkenazy, is also profoundly deaf.)
All brain challenges can be 'overcome' through hard work and a desire to grow. The first step is recognition. Over the coming weeks, let's look at some specific challenges to communicating clearly that these and other brain challenges give you. More importantly, let's solve some challenges--together!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Mar 12, 2010
WEEKLY UPDATE: Communications Articles (& Other Resources)
Summary: Happy about posting my very first online article, I've gathered some others you're sure to find helpful. Can you help me test my poll in return?
Happy Friday! Together, we've made it almost to the weekend. Despite the bleak, Chicagoland weather that's forecast for the next few days, I'm extra happy: I'm so excited to have finally posted my very first article on the web! It's been a goal for some time now that I'm proud to have accomplished. (Don't worry: You'll still be the first to know about any new ones I put out there in the ether.)
With articles on the brain, I came across a whole cache of communications-related topics today—and just had to share them with you.
MindTools is a U.K.-based coaching corporation that, like me, offers one-to-one coaching in addition to various resources. They address a variety of categories (including some that we share: leadership skills, problem solving, decision making and career skills), in addition to communication skills. Click here to read their many articles on communicating.
And if you find this helpful, take a risk and communicate with me! I finally fixed the poll problem I was experiencing in the past (I hope) and am waiting with baited breath to hear from YOU about what emotions often get in your way when you want to speak clearly.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Happy Friday! Together, we've made it almost to the weekend. Despite the bleak, Chicagoland weather that's forecast for the next few days, I'm extra happy: I'm so excited to have finally posted my very first article on the web! It's been a goal for some time now that I'm proud to have accomplished. (Don't worry: You'll still be the first to know about any new ones I put out there in the ether.)
With articles on the brain, I came across a whole cache of communications-related topics today—and just had to share them with you.
MindTools is a U.K.-based coaching corporation that, like me, offers one-to-one coaching in addition to various resources. They address a variety of categories (including some that we share: leadership skills, problem solving, decision making and career skills), in addition to communication skills. Click here to read their many articles on communicating.
And if you find this helpful, take a risk and communicate with me! I finally fixed the poll problem I was experiencing in the past (I hope) and am waiting with baited breath to hear from YOU about what emotions often get in your way when you want to speak clearly.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Mar 11, 2010
Article: 3 Basic Steps to Conflict Resolution
Here is the link I promised yesterday to my article "3 Basic Steps to Conflict Resolution" on GoArticles.com.
If you, like fellow article writer Gail Seymour, read my prior post on eye contact and suddenly wanted to know more, your wait is finally over! And if, like Jon R. of Ohio, who attended my presentation on communication last month, you struggle with eye contact or any of the other basic steps I outline in the article, write me. Just click the comments link below to share your thoughts.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
If you, like fellow article writer Gail Seymour, read my prior post on eye contact and suddenly wanted to know more, your wait is finally over! And if, like Jon R. of Ohio, who attended my presentation on communication last month, you struggle with eye contact or any of the other basic steps I outline in the article, write me. Just click the comments link below to share your thoughts.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Mar 4, 2010
Celebrate Today & Speak Your Truth
There's no better time than now to get your own copy of the Speak Your Truth electronic workbook and start improving the way you speak and live.
Today is both National Grammar Day and World Book Day. So, celebrate in style—and help yourself in the process. Go to www.speak-your-truth.com to buy your copy and download it immediately to your desktop. Why wait? Speak YOUR truth today!
Today is both National Grammar Day and World Book Day. So, celebrate in style—and help yourself in the process. Go to www.speak-your-truth.com to buy your copy and download it immediately to your desktop. Why wait? Speak YOUR truth today!
Feb 19, 2010
WEEKLY UPDATE: My Own Affirmation
Summary: Today's post gives you a peek into my personal inner workings as I share with you the story of how I created my own affirmation sentence, and exactly what that sentence is that helps me through my days. You can do it, too!
Each Friday's blog post is titled "Weekly Update." It's where I lift the curtain to give you a peek behind the scenes at Beyond Talk and KiKi Productions, Inc. Communications. Today, I want to show you a little secret something from inside of me.
Since we've been talking about affirmations (or rather, I've been writing and you've been reading about them), I think it's only fair that I let you in on my own personal affirmation—as well as how I followed the process I've been outlining for you to create my affirmation sentence. It works for me. But only when I choose to use it, of course.
I admitted in Wednesday's post that I have perfectionist tendencies. This can be a blessing. But there are certainly times when it's a curse, too. Mostly, it's a curse when it upsets me, mentally or emotionally.
Some months ago, I was slated to give a speech presentation that I had not rehearsed well. I had certain key points I wanted to share in the speech, and I'd put those on index cards. But I'd decided that the rest of the content (due to time constraints in preparation) was just going to have to be "organic." In other words, I would think it up as I went along! I knew my audience's needs, even if I didn't know my audience members personally. However, as I was driving to the venue, I felt a wave of nausea and panic overtake me. This was greater than the usual "butterflies" I get in my stomach before a big event. I quickly assessed the situation:
(1) I feel nausea, a racing heartbeat, and shortness of breath in my body.
(2) Emotionally, I'm very fearful—to the point of panic.
(3) My thoughts are telling me to turn the car around and run! I think I can't do this, because I'm unprepared and I'm going to fail.
(4) These thoughts DO NOT make me want to expand and grow!
(5) If someone else spoke to me this way, I'd feel insulted and undermined. (I guess that means I'm doubting myself.)
(6) I'd prefer to hear words of support that take into account the possibility of human errors (because how do I know for sure that I won't make one or two mistakes as I wing this event?)
For the rest of the trip, I chanted in my head, "I am a competent human, and I learn from my human mistakes." This affirmation gives me permission to "fail" without the belief that any failure on my part is permanent and fatal. The word "competent" reminds me that I really do have strengths, even in times of doubt. Better, it helps me draw upon those strengths when I doubt myself.
For months now, every time I have felt that same bodily sensation of fear and panic in a wave of nausea, I've easily recognized it for what it is: self-doubt. And my affirmation, said as many times as needed, dispels it: "I am a competent human, and I learn from my human mistakes."
How about you?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Each Friday's blog post is titled "Weekly Update." It's where I lift the curtain to give you a peek behind the scenes at Beyond Talk and KiKi Productions, Inc. Communications. Today, I want to show you a little secret something from inside of me.
Since we've been talking about affirmations (or rather, I've been writing and you've been reading about them), I think it's only fair that I let you in on my own personal affirmation—as well as how I followed the process I've been outlining for you to create my affirmation sentence. It works for me. But only when I choose to use it, of course.
I admitted in Wednesday's post that I have perfectionist tendencies. This can be a blessing. But there are certainly times when it's a curse, too. Mostly, it's a curse when it upsets me, mentally or emotionally.
Some months ago, I was slated to give a speech presentation that I had not rehearsed well. I had certain key points I wanted to share in the speech, and I'd put those on index cards. But I'd decided that the rest of the content (due to time constraints in preparation) was just going to have to be "organic." In other words, I would think it up as I went along! I knew my audience's needs, even if I didn't know my audience members personally. However, as I was driving to the venue, I felt a wave of nausea and panic overtake me. This was greater than the usual "butterflies" I get in my stomach before a big event. I quickly assessed the situation:
(1) I feel nausea, a racing heartbeat, and shortness of breath in my body.
(2) Emotionally, I'm very fearful—to the point of panic.
(3) My thoughts are telling me to turn the car around and run! I think I can't do this, because I'm unprepared and I'm going to fail.
(4) These thoughts DO NOT make me want to expand and grow!
(5) If someone else spoke to me this way, I'd feel insulted and undermined. (I guess that means I'm doubting myself.)
(6) I'd prefer to hear words of support that take into account the possibility of human errors (because how do I know for sure that I won't make one or two mistakes as I wing this event?)
For the rest of the trip, I chanted in my head, "I am a competent human, and I learn from my human mistakes." This affirmation gives me permission to "fail" without the belief that any failure on my part is permanent and fatal. The word "competent" reminds me that I really do have strengths, even in times of doubt. Better, it helps me draw upon those strengths when I doubt myself.
For months now, every time I have felt that same bodily sensation of fear and panic in a wave of nausea, I've easily recognized it for what it is: self-doubt. And my affirmation, said as many times as needed, dispels it: "I am a competent human, and I learn from my human mistakes."
How about you?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Feb 12, 2010
WEEKLY UPDATE: Resolving Conflict with Eye Contact
Summary: When it comes to conflict resolution, when is eye contact helpful—and when is it hurtful? The answer is individual.
I recently received an e-mail message from Jon R. of Ohio who attended my communications workshop there last week. Part of the workshop focused on the 3 basic steps to conflict resolution. Jon writes in his message that the best way for him to resolve conflict is to "depersonalize" it using logic. And he points out, accurately, that the 3 steps I teach all specifically personalize what's going on.
Step one in conflict resolution is: Open your eyes! In other words, make eye contact.
It makes sense that some individuals—like Jon—find it helpful to cognitively process by detaching from the situation (and thus detaching from any excess emotions that may cloud their ability to make clear decisions and communicate well). However, making eye contact is imperative to showing respect to your 'opponent' in long-term conflict resolution. Read this e-article by Gail Seymour on How to Maintain Eye Contact. And don't forget to check out the related links with even more info. on the pros and cons of eye contact.
My 3 basic steps to conflict resolution start with this essential. I teach clients how to work through uncomfortable moments to go deeper into their feelings and come through them successfully. But the bottom line is, you should do what works best for you whenever you need to regain your composure and think—and speak—clearly.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
I recently received an e-mail message from Jon R. of Ohio who attended my communications workshop there last week. Part of the workshop focused on the 3 basic steps to conflict resolution. Jon writes in his message that the best way for him to resolve conflict is to "depersonalize" it using logic. And he points out, accurately, that the 3 steps I teach all specifically personalize what's going on.
Step one in conflict resolution is: Open your eyes! In other words, make eye contact.
It makes sense that some individuals—like Jon—find it helpful to cognitively process by detaching from the situation (and thus detaching from any excess emotions that may cloud their ability to make clear decisions and communicate well). However, making eye contact is imperative to showing respect to your 'opponent' in long-term conflict resolution. Read this e-article by Gail Seymour on How to Maintain Eye Contact. And don't forget to check out the related links with even more info. on the pros and cons of eye contact.
My 3 basic steps to conflict resolution start with this essential. I teach clients how to work through uncomfortable moments to go deeper into their feelings and come through them successfully. But the bottom line is, you should do what works best for you whenever you need to regain your composure and think—and speak—clearly.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Jan 6, 2010
TRULY SPEAKING: Think Before You Speak
Summary: Taking a breath to think about what kind of message you're projecting to the world around you is important every day. This post shares some concrete steps you can take to make sure you're speaking your truth with respect—today.
If you checked out the banned words list I linked you to Monday, you know that many people (not you or me, of course—*ahem*) can go far overboard with the overuse of certain words or phrases. Some have done it in the press to the point that one university, at least, has decided to tell them, "No more! We don't want to hear these words or phrases in 2010."
I get a customized horoscope in my e-mail in-box every morning. And today, I basically got the same admonishment from the universe (if you believe in that sort of thing): Today, I'm a little moody, and the planetary advice I read is to stop and really think before I open my big mouth.
Whether it's relying on the same old sentences or not checking your tone of voice, the way you communicate with others deserves a pause for self-awareness—today and every day of this year and every remaining year of your life. How do you accomplish this? Here are some mental actions you can take:
(1) Pay attention to how you feel physically in your body as you speak. Each emotion is connected to a specific area of the body (anger results in clenched fists and jaws, for example, while anxiety equals stomach complaints).
(2) Try to connect the physical sensation with the emotion you're feeling—and likely displaying. It takes time to become emotionally aware, so don't get too down on yourself if this takes a lot of practice. If you need help distinguishing feelings from thoughts and properly naming them, use this list as a jumping-off point. You can also contact me via my website for a more thorough list that I've created for my clients.
(3) Find a daily practice that helps to spiritually connect you to this consciousness. Whether it's meditation, prayer, affirmations or journaling, you can use any process that helps to take you outside of your usual perspective, so that you can see yourself more objectively and really listen to the way you speak your truth to others.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
If you checked out the banned words list I linked you to Monday, you know that many people (not you or me, of course—*ahem*) can go far overboard with the overuse of certain words or phrases. Some have done it in the press to the point that one university, at least, has decided to tell them, "No more! We don't want to hear these words or phrases in 2010."
I get a customized horoscope in my e-mail in-box every morning. And today, I basically got the same admonishment from the universe (if you believe in that sort of thing): Today, I'm a little moody, and the planetary advice I read is to stop and really think before I open my big mouth.
Whether it's relying on the same old sentences or not checking your tone of voice, the way you communicate with others deserves a pause for self-awareness—today and every day of this year and every remaining year of your life. How do you accomplish this? Here are some mental actions you can take:
(1) Pay attention to how you feel physically in your body as you speak. Each emotion is connected to a specific area of the body (anger results in clenched fists and jaws, for example, while anxiety equals stomach complaints).
(2) Try to connect the physical sensation with the emotion you're feeling—and likely displaying. It takes time to become emotionally aware, so don't get too down on yourself if this takes a lot of practice. If you need help distinguishing feelings from thoughts and properly naming them, use this list as a jumping-off point. You can also contact me via my website for a more thorough list that I've created for my clients.
(3) Find a daily practice that helps to spiritually connect you to this consciousness. Whether it's meditation, prayer, affirmations or journaling, you can use any process that helps to take you outside of your usual perspective, so that you can see yourself more objectively and really listen to the way you speak your truth to others.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Nov 18, 2009
TRULY SPEAKING: Avoiding the Unavoidable, Holiday Stress
Summary: The "good stress" of the holidays may seem ineluctable, but it doesn't have to overtake your life. Follow these suggestions, courtesy of communications coach Cathy Emma, to stay sane as you accomplish your winter goals.
It's that time of year again: Time for the joy of giving and receiving, the celebration of family, ... the stress of planning and shopping and cooking and hosting and visiting and of generally taking on so much extra responsibility!
How do you stay sane? Frankly, some of us don't. But there are measures any of us can take to give it our best shot.
If you (or those you love) suffer from disease—be it a mental illness or a physical illness—the additional stress of the holidays can push you over the edge. The way we communicate when we're feeling internal pressure generally looks like the following in one or more ways: absent-minded, terse, angry, hostile, loud, tearful, apologetic, brusque. Depending on our personalities and the ways we've been taught to cope with stress throughout our lives, we can exhibit any combination of these traits in response to even the simplest of questions asked by friends and family and even co-workers. We can also go to the opposite extreme and become completely silent.
None of these responses helps us solve the problem of our stress. In fact, just the opposite: It compounds it for us and for those around us.
This week, I received an e-newsletter from communications specialist Cathy Emma, who provided some excellent techniques for heading off holiday stress at the pass. Among her suggestions were these:
- Keep your fitness track on plan. "Healthy living relieves stress," Cathy reminds. And putting yourself first means that there will be more of you to go around when the time comes.
- Appreciate the positive aspects of the holiday. When you expect to be stressed out, you usually are. But when you're able to remind yourself exactly why it is that you're taking on the extra load right now, it helps you feel like you have a voice in your own life and your plans, rather than resentful obligations. It may help to mentally note one reason why you choose to go through with your plans each time you feel any stressed-out resentment creeping in—such as, "I'm making these special pies, so that Grandpa has something sugar-free to eat this year."
- Keep the stress out of your voice and speech. The fact is, we all take on an extra load to our personal calendars at this time of year, no matter how we celebrate. Even if we choose not to celebrate, we're likely to pick up on the frenetic energy around us at the office, at our friends' homes, and in the streets, sidewalks, and stores. But coming from a place of stress is not only unprofessional, it's selfish. Cathy encourages us to use a tone of voice that's "bright and enthusiastic." Practice speaking like this regularly, and you will begin to feel it sincerely.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
It's that time of year again: Time for the joy of giving and receiving, the celebration of family, ... the stress of planning and shopping and cooking and hosting and visiting and of generally taking on so much extra responsibility!
How do you stay sane? Frankly, some of us don't. But there are measures any of us can take to give it our best shot.
If you (or those you love) suffer from disease—be it a mental illness or a physical illness—the additional stress of the holidays can push you over the edge. The way we communicate when we're feeling internal pressure generally looks like the following in one or more ways: absent-minded, terse, angry, hostile, loud, tearful, apologetic, brusque. Depending on our personalities and the ways we've been taught to cope with stress throughout our lives, we can exhibit any combination of these traits in response to even the simplest of questions asked by friends and family and even co-workers. We can also go to the opposite extreme and become completely silent.
None of these responses helps us solve the problem of our stress. In fact, just the opposite: It compounds it for us and for those around us.
This week, I received an e-newsletter from communications specialist Cathy Emma, who provided some excellent techniques for heading off holiday stress at the pass. Among her suggestions were these:
- Keep your fitness track on plan. "Healthy living relieves stress," Cathy reminds. And putting yourself first means that there will be more of you to go around when the time comes.
- Appreciate the positive aspects of the holiday. When you expect to be stressed out, you usually are. But when you're able to remind yourself exactly why it is that you're taking on the extra load right now, it helps you feel like you have a voice in your own life and your plans, rather than resentful obligations. It may help to mentally note one reason why you choose to go through with your plans each time you feel any stressed-out resentment creeping in—such as, "I'm making these special pies, so that Grandpa has something sugar-free to eat this year."
- Keep the stress out of your voice and speech. The fact is, we all take on an extra load to our personal calendars at this time of year, no matter how we celebrate. Even if we choose not to celebrate, we're likely to pick up on the frenetic energy around us at the office, at our friends' homes, and in the streets, sidewalks, and stores. But coming from a place of stress is not only unprofessional, it's selfish. Cathy encourages us to use a tone of voice that's "bright and enthusiastic." Practice speaking like this regularly, and you will begin to feel it sincerely.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Oct 28, 2009
TRULY SPEAKING: Ending Verbal Abuse
Summary: Defining "abuse" globally is difficult, but most of us know what we're willing to put up with as individuals. Once you've established this for yourself, be consistent in maintaining your personal boundaries. In special circumstances (such as when caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's), follow the steps below to remain calm and communicate clearly under emotional duress.
Verbal abuse is no laughing matter. Some have said that verbal or emotional abuse can be more detrimental than physical abuse, because the victims bear no visible scars. While that is subjective, the fact is that so is what constitutes "abuse" in this global society—especially what constitutes verbal or emotional harm.
As individuals, we all set up our own boundaries when it comes to how much we'll tolerate and from whom. We may be highly sensitive to strangers, flaring up at the slightest injustice, like getting cut in line at the bank or being tailgated on the interstate. And yet we may have much higher thresholds for mistreatment by those closest to us, allowing our parents or significant others to call us names or criticize us daily without reacting with much shock or hurt.
Setting your personal boundaries—and maintaining consistency with them—is the first step toward putting an end to abuse of any kind. It's only when you know your limits that you can honor them and ask others to honor them, as well.
Once you know what (or how little) you're willing to tolerate, it's important that you not make any exceptions. And it's just as crucial that you not respond with anger toward someone else's anger, because that only aggravates the situation, rather than cooling it. If you find you cannot do this, especially early on, it's important that you remove yourself from the situation that's upsetting you and then provide an explanation (and apology, if necessary) to those involved once you are calm.
Some circumstances call for extra patience on our part, such as when a loved one has Alzheimer's and has become disoriented, lashing out verbally with hostility. We want to stay with the person who is pushing our buttons and not take what they're saying personally—though that may be quite hard. Here are some good rules of thumb for communicating calmly in such cases:
(1) Choose short, direct sentences to convey what's most important: "Grandpa, I'm Kealah. I'm your granddaughter. We're going to your doctor's office."
(2) Speak slowly and enunciate to be certain you're understood. When the brain is stressed, its ability to comprehend is deeply impaired, as is its ability to explain this to someone else.
(3) Make eye contact. (This is a good rule of thumb for critical communication of any kind, be it to a child, a coworker or an adversary.)
(4) Above all else, be sure to keep yourself calm by breathing deeply and slowly. If you find it impossible to remain calm, give yourself permission to walk away for 5 minutes and return again after you're calmer.
Journaling is another great way to stay in touch with your own feelings throughout any difficult process. Use your journal both before and after known emotional triggers to monitor your progress and objectively observe your own behavior. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to change your behavior in the heat of the moment.
Peace be with you throughout the rest of this week!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Verbal abuse is no laughing matter. Some have said that verbal or emotional abuse can be more detrimental than physical abuse, because the victims bear no visible scars. While that is subjective, the fact is that so is what constitutes "abuse" in this global society—especially what constitutes verbal or emotional harm.
As individuals, we all set up our own boundaries when it comes to how much we'll tolerate and from whom. We may be highly sensitive to strangers, flaring up at the slightest injustice, like getting cut in line at the bank or being tailgated on the interstate. And yet we may have much higher thresholds for mistreatment by those closest to us, allowing our parents or significant others to call us names or criticize us daily without reacting with much shock or hurt.
Setting your personal boundaries—and maintaining consistency with them—is the first step toward putting an end to abuse of any kind. It's only when you know your limits that you can honor them and ask others to honor them, as well.
Once you know what (or how little) you're willing to tolerate, it's important that you not make any exceptions. And it's just as crucial that you not respond with anger toward someone else's anger, because that only aggravates the situation, rather than cooling it. If you find you cannot do this, especially early on, it's important that you remove yourself from the situation that's upsetting you and then provide an explanation (and apology, if necessary) to those involved once you are calm.
Some circumstances call for extra patience on our part, such as when a loved one has Alzheimer's and has become disoriented, lashing out verbally with hostility. We want to stay with the person who is pushing our buttons and not take what they're saying personally—though that may be quite hard. Here are some good rules of thumb for communicating calmly in such cases:
(1) Choose short, direct sentences to convey what's most important: "Grandpa, I'm Kealah. I'm your granddaughter. We're going to your doctor's office."
(2) Speak slowly and enunciate to be certain you're understood. When the brain is stressed, its ability to comprehend is deeply impaired, as is its ability to explain this to someone else.
(3) Make eye contact. (This is a good rule of thumb for critical communication of any kind, be it to a child, a coworker or an adversary.)
(4) Above all else, be sure to keep yourself calm by breathing deeply and slowly. If you find it impossible to remain calm, give yourself permission to walk away for 5 minutes and return again after you're calmer.
Journaling is another great way to stay in touch with your own feelings throughout any difficult process. Use your journal both before and after known emotional triggers to monitor your progress and objectively observe your own behavior. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to change your behavior in the heat of the moment.
Peace be with you throughout the rest of this week!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Oct 26, 2009
WORD OF THE WEEK: Vituperative Voice
Summary: This week's word is vituperation. It's a noun that means "verbal abuse." Later this week, we'll explore ways you can talk back to someone who's vituperating you—without furthering the fight.
Vituperation (VIE - too - per - A - SHUN) - (n.) verbal abuse; sustained and bitter condemnation; railing, castigation, severe reprimanding. Etymology: From the fifteenth century Latin word vituperatio, meaning blame, censure, ritual verbal abuse.
Over the last couple of weeks, we've been using this blog to look at (among other things) the way our brains' cognitive functioning affects the way we communicate. When we're stressed, our thinking is impaired, and we undergo an inability to grasp the right words to say want we mean. We can also say whatever does come to mind in the wrong tone of voice; we can become vituperative.
Later this week, we'll look at ways you can respond to someone who's berating or vituperating you—ways you can talk back that actually end the cycle, rather than fuel the fighting fire. We'll also explore how you can put an end to vituperation if you, yourself, are the verbally abusive culprit.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Vituperation (VIE - too - per - A - SHUN) - (n.) verbal abuse; sustained and bitter condemnation; railing, castigation, severe reprimanding. Etymology: From the fifteenth century Latin word vituperatio, meaning blame, censure, ritual verbal abuse.
Over the last couple of weeks, we've been using this blog to look at (among other things) the way our brains' cognitive functioning affects the way we communicate. When we're stressed, our thinking is impaired, and we undergo an inability to grasp the right words to say want we mean. We can also say whatever does come to mind in the wrong tone of voice; we can become vituperative.
Later this week, we'll look at ways you can respond to someone who's berating or vituperating you—ways you can talk back that actually end the cycle, rather than fuel the fighting fire. We'll also explore how you can put an end to vituperation if you, yourself, are the verbally abusive culprit.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Oct 2, 2009
WEEKLY UPDATE: LOVE What You Do!
Summary: I'm starting a creative writing course tomorrow in an effort to hone my craft & boost my skill set. What do you love? Working on yourself continuously can turn you into an expert eventually. And no matter what you love, you can always benefit from improving your communications skills.
Tomorrow the adventure begins: It's the first day of the 8-week creative writing course I've signed up for with StoryStudio Chicago. Every Saturday for the remainder of that period, I'll spend two hours plugging away on a project of my choosing, honing my craft and clocking more hours performing my passion—communicating!
What's your area of expertise? And how often do you boost your skill set?
Malcolm Gladwell, author of (among other best-sellers) the recent success story Outliers, writes that true pros spend over 10,000 hours practicing and perfecting those areas that they eventually own. That's a major investment! If you're truly serious about being one of the best in your field, you'll find a way to make almost everything you do about the thing you love most. (My professional bio references my "lifelong love affair with language" that ranges in experience from speaking before I could walk to taking journalism workshops in middle school and teaching them in college to freelancing as a corporate speechwriter in my 20s and even to constantly editing everything I read in my head!)
If you're serious about loving what you do, you'll be continuously looking to improve yourself—particularly in your chosen field. And no matter what field you choose to pursue, communicating better can always benefit you.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Tomorrow the adventure begins: It's the first day of the 8-week creative writing course I've signed up for with StoryStudio Chicago. Every Saturday for the remainder of that period, I'll spend two hours plugging away on a project of my choosing, honing my craft and clocking more hours performing my passion—communicating!
What's your area of expertise? And how often do you boost your skill set?
Malcolm Gladwell, author of (among other best-sellers) the recent success story Outliers, writes that true pros spend over 10,000 hours practicing and perfecting those areas that they eventually own. That's a major investment! If you're truly serious about being one of the best in your field, you'll find a way to make almost everything you do about the thing you love most. (My professional bio references my "lifelong love affair with language" that ranges in experience from speaking before I could walk to taking journalism workshops in middle school and teaching them in college to freelancing as a corporate speechwriter in my 20s and even to constantly editing everything I read in my head!)
If you're serious about loving what you do, you'll be continuously looking to improve yourself—particularly in your chosen field. And no matter what field you choose to pursue, communicating better can always benefit you.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Sep 30, 2009
TRULY SPEAKING: The Secret to Getting What You Want
Summary: Today's post discusses the law of attraction, used in The Secret and other New Age products, and the one simple question you can ask yourself in every situation in order to communicate your needs—to yourself and those around you—best.
Surely you've heard the secret—The Secret, that is, by Rhonda Byrne. If you're someone who's managed to avoid hearing about this widely popularized book, CD set, movie or general technique, let me be the first to break it down for you: The secret to The Secret is the law of attraction, or the idea that like attracts like.
Sir Isaac Newton's law of universal gravitation states in part that "two bodies attract each other with equal and opposite force." Although there's much more to his law than this, the principle has been borrowed by New Age coaches and modern thinkers of every type to promote the law of attraction. Byrne's 'secret' is out!
So, what does this mean for you, as someone who's presently looking to improve the way you speak, write or think under pressure? Here's the second secret: *Pssst!* The more you honor your deepest desires, the more likely you are to elicit them from the world around you.
Ask yourself, "Why do I want to improve the way I communicate?" Is it for a raise or a promotion; to impress your boss or co-workers; to win that sales incentive of the new car or vacation package? If it's anywhere along these lines, your deepest desires—in this case, anyway—are financially driven. Do you want to impress a certain someone you just met or to change the way you automatically react to your significant other? If so, you're most motivated by romance right now. These are just a couple of examples that can vary from situation to situation or even moment to moment.
Asking, "What do I want most right now?" each time you feel tongue-tied or confused will help you more clearly state—first to yourself and then to the world around you—what exactly you need or want. And that will help you determine how to go about getting it gracefully.
To further improve the way you speak, write or think under pressure, contact Communications Coach Kealah Parkinson at Kealah@KiKiProductionsInc.com and type "Speak with Kealah" in the subject line.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Surely you've heard the secret—The Secret, that is, by Rhonda Byrne. If you're someone who's managed to avoid hearing about this widely popularized book, CD set, movie or general technique, let me be the first to break it down for you: The secret to The Secret is the law of attraction, or the idea that like attracts like.
Sir Isaac Newton's law of universal gravitation states in part that "two bodies attract each other with equal and opposite force." Although there's much more to his law than this, the principle has been borrowed by New Age coaches and modern thinkers of every type to promote the law of attraction. Byrne's 'secret' is out!
So, what does this mean for you, as someone who's presently looking to improve the way you speak, write or think under pressure? Here's the second secret: *Pssst!* The more you honor your deepest desires, the more likely you are to elicit them from the world around you.
Ask yourself, "Why do I want to improve the way I communicate?" Is it for a raise or a promotion; to impress your boss or co-workers; to win that sales incentive of the new car or vacation package? If it's anywhere along these lines, your deepest desires—in this case, anyway—are financially driven. Do you want to impress a certain someone you just met or to change the way you automatically react to your significant other? If so, you're most motivated by romance right now. These are just a couple of examples that can vary from situation to situation or even moment to moment.
Asking, "What do I want most right now?" each time you feel tongue-tied or confused will help you more clearly state—first to yourself and then to the world around you—what exactly you need or want. And that will help you determine how to go about getting it gracefully.
To further improve the way you speak, write or think under pressure, contact Communications Coach Kealah Parkinson at Kealah@KiKiProductionsInc.com and type "Speak with Kealah" in the subject line.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Sep 25, 2009
WEEKLY UPDATE: Summarizing the Latest News
Summary: This post announces a new change to the Beyond Talk blog in the form of a summary paragraph like this one at the start of each post. I share my own ever-evolving experience with matching my message to my market audience, as the Communications Coach who truly practices what she preaches.
Some of my earliest blog entries read more like newspaper articles than blog posts. In fact, that's exactly what I intended for them. You see, my education and my beginning career work were both in journalism; it's been a dream of mine since the age of 12 to run my own (socially impacting, likely women-centered) magazine. But after about a month, I realized that almost no one—not even my own friends and family—was visiting the blog.
Perfect! Learning to tweak my own communication style was a step in the right direction: Not only would I (hopefully) meet my goal of drawing more traffic to the blog and helping more people around the globe improve the way they interact, I would learn first-hand even more about assessing one's message and adjusting it to the right audience.
What's the best way to match your message to your market? Ask questions (like, "What's the best way to match your message to your market?"). That's what I did with wonderful results. The experience was very rewarding.
I asked the right people—other successful bloggers—who could mentor me in what I was doing wrong, as well as in what was working for me. Among other things, they told me that, although I was well-written and easy to understand, the journalism-based style of my writings was not befitting to a blurb-sized blog. Their feedback continues to enlighten and improve Beyond Talk.
The next latest and greatest improvement begins today, and will be a helpful aspect of future entries: Each blog post will now contain a summary paragraph at the beginning, so that readers like yourself can skim the article and decide if further reading will be helpful or a bit of a time-waster today. (And the summary will also help you bookmark the article for future reference when you may want or even need to invest the time required to read at length and really apply the points presented.) Finally, this new addition will also help you to share any pertinent posts to people you know who may value the information included.
Your time and your attention are valuable—not just to you, but also to me. If you have further feedback on ways Beyond Talk can address your needs, SPEAK UP! I'm here to help.
Truly,
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Some of my earliest blog entries read more like newspaper articles than blog posts. In fact, that's exactly what I intended for them. You see, my education and my beginning career work were both in journalism; it's been a dream of mine since the age of 12 to run my own (socially impacting, likely women-centered) magazine. But after about a month, I realized that almost no one—not even my own friends and family—was visiting the blog.
Perfect! Learning to tweak my own communication style was a step in the right direction: Not only would I (hopefully) meet my goal of drawing more traffic to the blog and helping more people around the globe improve the way they interact, I would learn first-hand even more about assessing one's message and adjusting it to the right audience.
What's the best way to match your message to your market? Ask questions (like, "What's the best way to match your message to your market?"). That's what I did with wonderful results. The experience was very rewarding.
I asked the right people—other successful bloggers—who could mentor me in what I was doing wrong, as well as in what was working for me. Among other things, they told me that, although I was well-written and easy to understand, the journalism-based style of my writings was not befitting to a blurb-sized blog. Their feedback continues to enlighten and improve Beyond Talk.
The next latest and greatest improvement begins today, and will be a helpful aspect of future entries: Each blog post will now contain a summary paragraph at the beginning, so that readers like yourself can skim the article and decide if further reading will be helpful or a bit of a time-waster today. (And the summary will also help you bookmark the article for future reference when you may want or even need to invest the time required to read at length and really apply the points presented.) Finally, this new addition will also help you to share any pertinent posts to people you know who may value the information included.
Your time and your attention are valuable—not just to you, but also to me. If you have further feedback on ways Beyond Talk can address your needs, SPEAK UP! I'm here to help.
Truly,
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Sep 16, 2009
TRULY SPEAKING: Staying Connected in Partnership
This summer my husband and I celebrated our 6th anniversary. That's a drop in the bucket compared to the 50-plus years my great-grandparents shared. But it’s 6 years that we've definitely earned.
Not long before our 1st anniversary, we set to work, hammering out our own little trick to staying connected—something specific to our personal communication style that went beyond the usual platitudes like "don't go to bed angry" and "don't sweat the small stuff." So many of the self-help and couples books I was reading at the time had wonderful communication exercises that simply ended up being too time-consuming or otherwise too complex for us. After testing (and rejecting) so many of them, we eventually customized an exercise of our own.
What we created was a nightly ritual, consisting of a mere 3 questions. We call them “The 3 Rs of Marriage”©:
(1) What’s one thing you recognize that made you feel loved today?
(2) What’s one thing you did to return love to me today?
(3) What would you like to request that I do to show love to you tomorrow?
Each question concentrates on listening to the other person’s feelings and seeing the world through his or her eyes. Love is the central theme, so the conversation is always a feel-good way to end the day. What you learn about your partner—and yourself—via this process can astound you.
You don't have to be married to try the exercise, and you don't have to do it every single night. But the more you practice it, the more it works. So, practice these questions with your partner this week and see how it feels for yourself!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Not long before our 1st anniversary, we set to work, hammering out our own little trick to staying connected—something specific to our personal communication style that went beyond the usual platitudes like "don't go to bed angry" and "don't sweat the small stuff." So many of the self-help and couples books I was reading at the time had wonderful communication exercises that simply ended up being too time-consuming or otherwise too complex for us. After testing (and rejecting) so many of them, we eventually customized an exercise of our own.
What we created was a nightly ritual, consisting of a mere 3 questions. We call them “The 3 Rs of Marriage”©:
(1) What’s one thing you recognize that made you feel loved today?
(2) What’s one thing you did to return love to me today?
(3) What would you like to request that I do to show love to you tomorrow?
Each question concentrates on listening to the other person’s feelings and seeing the world through his or her eyes. Love is the central theme, so the conversation is always a feel-good way to end the day. What you learn about your partner—and yourself—via this process can astound you.
You don't have to be married to try the exercise, and you don't have to do it every single night. But the more you practice it, the more it works. So, practice these questions with your partner this week and see how it feels for yourself!
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Sep 9, 2009
TRULY SPEAKING: Why Should I Listen to You?
Tell me, why should I listen to you? Is it because you have something to say that's more important than anything I could have to say? (No.) Maybe it's because you're smarter than I am? (Not likely.) Or perhaps you are simply more interesting than I? (Nope, not that either.)
So, why should I listen to you? Here's why: Because I might learn something that will make me better, brighter, funnier, faster, smarter, even sexier. I should listen to you, because I'm interested in myself.
Sound crazy? Think again! The fact is that all of our brains go through this thought process—just not usually so specifically. That's why the most captivating of public speakers regularly start their speeches out with a question that's geared toward the audience (such as, "Who here is embarrassed by their middle name?") in order to hook our egos immediately and immerse us in the talk as if our lives, for the moment at least, depended on it.
Being a spectacular speaker means reaching out to your audience to talk about what interests them. But the true secret to really connecting with that audience is aligning what interests you—your true passion in life—to audience interests. If you're embarrassed by your own middle name, you can tell a tale or two about growing up, hiding your middle initial wherever possible or humorously fudging your middle name with hilarious results. Your audience will then laugh—not at you, but with you, as they recognize elements of themselves in your truly captivating story.
So, why should you listen to me? Simple: You want to be a better communicator, and you feel connected to what I'm saying.
To make a big splash with your audience—whether it's a packed house or a cozy home—means finding common ground that you and they both can share and indwell for as long as you're speaking. After all, not everyone is automatically as good at listening as you are.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
So, why should I listen to you? Here's why: Because I might learn something that will make me better, brighter, funnier, faster, smarter, even sexier. I should listen to you, because I'm interested in myself.
Sound crazy? Think again! The fact is that all of our brains go through this thought process—just not usually so specifically. That's why the most captivating of public speakers regularly start their speeches out with a question that's geared toward the audience (such as, "Who here is embarrassed by their middle name?") in order to hook our egos immediately and immerse us in the talk as if our lives, for the moment at least, depended on it.
Being a spectacular speaker means reaching out to your audience to talk about what interests them. But the true secret to really connecting with that audience is aligning what interests you—your true passion in life—to audience interests. If you're embarrassed by your own middle name, you can tell a tale or two about growing up, hiding your middle initial wherever possible or humorously fudging your middle name with hilarious results. Your audience will then laugh—not at you, but with you, as they recognize elements of themselves in your truly captivating story.
So, why should you listen to me? Simple: You want to be a better communicator, and you feel connected to what I'm saying.
To make a big splash with your audience—whether it's a packed house or a cozy home—means finding common ground that you and they both can share and indwell for as long as you're speaking. After all, not everyone is automatically as good at listening as you are.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
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