Summary: In our technology-driven world, we sometimes forget the importance of the little things, the "small gestures" in effective communication.
The art of communicating gets more and more sophisticated daily it seems. For those of us interested in personal development, it is an opportunity to learn new ways to express our
ideas. There is always a better, quicker, more efficient way to say what needs to be shared, from instant messages to tweets.
But, in our technology-driven world, we sometimes forget the importance of the little things, the small gestures in effective communication.
Let me ask you, how often during the course of a day have you forgotten to say, "Thank you," for the awesome work done, the fantastic meal or the indescribable deal you received from a family member, friend or colleague?
Sure, we know we should express gratitude for what others do for us, and that is exactly what a "thank you" does. These two small words, "thank you," let others know that what they've done is noticed and appreciated. It also tells them that you realize what was done resulted from their concern, love, and appreciation of you. Finally, it sends a clear, unequivocal message that we know no one owes us anything, and when we are the recipients of acts of kindness—whether random or intentional—we appreciate them, and we express our gratitude by saying, "Thank you."
During this holiday season, there will be many opportunities to use these two small words. Let's not forget to use them every chance we get.
Remember: "Thank yous" are expressions of gratitude and appreciation. They remind us of the many reasons for which we are grateful. Let's use them liberally during this yuletide season, and throughout the coming years.
What To Do Next:
1. Consciously, intentionally, and sincerely say, "Thank you," for every act of kindness you receive.
2. Perform random acts of kindness for your loved ones and others in your
circle of influence.
3. Remind small children (they may be too excited to remember on their own) to
express their gratitude by saying, "Thank you."
About the Writer: Barbara Henry is a published author, (Journaling: Twenty Plus Reasons Why You Should Start Now) personal development expert, motivational speaker, poet, and avid reader of books on self-growth, self-help, and spirituality, which are the subjects of her blogs and poems. Visit her website: www.barbarajhenry.com; go to the Titles/Products page and download a free copy of her very effective tip sheet “9 Write Ways to Solve Problems.”
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Nov 25, 2009
TRULY SPEAKING: Genuine Gratitude (& How to Show It)
Summary: Gratitude lists are one way to show thanksgiving any time of year. But there are even more creative ways to be grateful. How do you do it?
Ever heard of a gratitude list? It's as basic as it sounds: Take out a sheet of paper and start writing down everything you can think of that you're thankful to have in your life: dog, car, apartment, life, money, highlights in hair (your list may read). As you do this exercise, notice how your body begins to feel lighter and your mouth just wants to smile!
That's the purpose of a gratitude list: to make you physically and mentally aware that there is joy in being you.
Thanksgiving, as we learned this week, can be practiced at any time—not just the last Thursday in November, and not just in the U.S. Anyone, anywhere, anytime at all can sit down and jot out at least half a dozen items that make him or her smile; things that make life easier. Even YOU can do this!
This week, I challenge you to get creative with your gratitude list, especially if it's something familiar to you. Sometimes, taking a novel approach to being grateful helps you really feel it inside. Here are some ways I've refreshed my own thanksgiving around Thanksgiving time:
- Last year, I made playlist of music for my iPod that I dubbed my "gratitude mix." I included a lot of songs with words like "thanks," "thank you," "gratitude" and "grateful" in the title or the lyrics—everything from "Kind and Generous" by Natalie Merchant to "Praise You" by Fat Boy Slim to several versions of "I Thank You" (ZZ Top, Bonnie Raitt, and the original Sam & Dave). As my mother and I shared the stove on Thanksgiving morning (and Dad minded the oven and the turkey), I shared my music with the family to get us into a grateful mood. It worked! We danced around the kitchen, sampling small bites of everything (to test it, of course) and growing happier and happier.
- Two years before that, I brought a special heart-engraved notebook to the Thanksgiving feast and passed it around to all of my relatives. I'd hand-written a note to each of them, naming at least one thing I was grateful to them for through the years. Then I offered them the opportunity to write down something they were grateful for in life, as well. Some people chose to tell me something they were grateful to me for specifically (a pleasant surprise that really made me feel loved); others wrote down something they were grateful for in general, while still others made out their very own gratitude lists.
- My sister-in-law came up with a wonderful idea that same year: All those who had written out a list should review it the following year to reflect on how bountiful their lives had become with the passage of time. That's what we did then, and it was a joyful experience for me to hear my teenage niece and nephew, particularly, reflect on what they were thankful for and smile in remembrance. We went around the table after that, each naming something aloud for which we gave thanksgiving anew.
How creative can you get (or have you gotten) with your gratitude?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Ever heard of a gratitude list? It's as basic as it sounds: Take out a sheet of paper and start writing down everything you can think of that you're thankful to have in your life: dog, car, apartment, life, money, highlights in hair (your list may read). As you do this exercise, notice how your body begins to feel lighter and your mouth just wants to smile!
That's the purpose of a gratitude list: to make you physically and mentally aware that there is joy in being you.
Thanksgiving, as we learned this week, can be practiced at any time—not just the last Thursday in November, and not just in the U.S. Anyone, anywhere, anytime at all can sit down and jot out at least half a dozen items that make him or her smile; things that make life easier. Even YOU can do this!
This week, I challenge you to get creative with your gratitude list, especially if it's something familiar to you. Sometimes, taking a novel approach to being grateful helps you really feel it inside. Here are some ways I've refreshed my own thanksgiving around Thanksgiving time:
- Last year, I made playlist of music for my iPod that I dubbed my "gratitude mix." I included a lot of songs with words like "thanks," "thank you," "gratitude" and "grateful" in the title or the lyrics—everything from "Kind and Generous" by Natalie Merchant to "Praise You" by Fat Boy Slim to several versions of "I Thank You" (ZZ Top, Bonnie Raitt, and the original Sam & Dave). As my mother and I shared the stove on Thanksgiving morning (and Dad minded the oven and the turkey), I shared my music with the family to get us into a grateful mood. It worked! We danced around the kitchen, sampling small bites of everything (to test it, of course) and growing happier and happier.
- Two years before that, I brought a special heart-engraved notebook to the Thanksgiving feast and passed it around to all of my relatives. I'd hand-written a note to each of them, naming at least one thing I was grateful to them for through the years. Then I offered them the opportunity to write down something they were grateful for in life, as well. Some people chose to tell me something they were grateful to me for specifically (a pleasant surprise that really made me feel loved); others wrote down something they were grateful for in general, while still others made out their very own gratitude lists.
- My sister-in-law came up with a wonderful idea that same year: All those who had written out a list should review it the following year to reflect on how bountiful their lives had become with the passage of time. That's what we did then, and it was a joyful experience for me to hear my teenage niece and nephew, particularly, reflect on what they were thankful for and smile in remembrance. We went around the table after that, each naming something aloud for which we gave thanksgiving anew.
How creative can you get (or have you gotten) with your gratitude?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Nov 23, 2009
WORD OF THE WEEK: Thanksgiving!
Summary: The word thanksgiving isn't reserved only for the holiday. What are you thankful for?
Naturally, this week's word is thanksgiving. Not only is it the name of the holiday we'll be celebrating in the U.S. this Thursday, it's also a word in and of itself.
Entering the English language circa 1533, thanksgiving (commonly pronounced as THANKS - GIV -ing, but also sometimes as THANKS - GIV - ing) is a noun that means simply, the act of giving thanks, or being grateful. It can also be a public acknowledgment of gratitutde, especially in the form of a prayer—or even more so around this time of year, a public celebration.
There's some speculation that our contemporary Thanksgiving Day rituals draw from Native American ceremonies, particularly that of the potlatch (Americanized in the mid-1800s as POT - latch). In a traditional potlatch feast, a host welcomed many visitors to his or her home, plied them with lots of delicious food, and even gave away treasured personal items to show gratitude, generosity and respect. The purposes for such grand gestures were varied (from sharing tremendous wealth and other blessings to warding off potential bad luck), but the spirit of giving was always an integral part of the potlatch.
This time of year is special to me. It reminds me of my great-grandmother, who relished the symbolic meshing of cultures inherent in America's Thanksgiving holiday. She liked to tell this story:
"In the late 1800s, a Pueblo Native American tribe felled a large tree and carved it into a long table, complete with seats, then dressed it for a grand feast where they welcomed some Irish immigrants who were new to the United States. Over the years, a little boy from the tribe and a little girl from the group of immigrants became friends, and eventually, they grew up and fell in love. But this caused a scandal among both of their families, so they fled to the rural Midwest to start a shared life and a family of their own, combining their ways.
"The man was known as Eddie Thompson. But my sisters and I called him Pop. He was your great-great grandfather." Then she would smile, pinch my cheeks and say, "So, that's why you get so beautifully brown in the summers and have those lovely, high cheekbones!"
Regardless of what I may feel politically about American history, one way or another, this week I can say for certain that I'll recall with fond thanksgiving the jovial and generous spirit of my amazing great-grandmother and her wonderful way with words. And I'm further grateful for her teaching me my own personal history the best way that she could: through story.
Do you have thanksgiving this week in your heart? And if so, why?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Naturally, this week's word is thanksgiving. Not only is it the name of the holiday we'll be celebrating in the U.S. this Thursday, it's also a word in and of itself.
Entering the English language circa 1533, thanksgiving (commonly pronounced as THANKS - GIV -ing, but also sometimes as THANKS - GIV - ing) is a noun that means simply, the act of giving thanks, or being grateful. It can also be a public acknowledgment of gratitutde, especially in the form of a prayer—or even more so around this time of year, a public celebration.
There's some speculation that our contemporary Thanksgiving Day rituals draw from Native American ceremonies, particularly that of the potlatch (Americanized in the mid-1800s as POT - latch). In a traditional potlatch feast, a host welcomed many visitors to his or her home, plied them with lots of delicious food, and even gave away treasured personal items to show gratitude, generosity and respect. The purposes for such grand gestures were varied (from sharing tremendous wealth and other blessings to warding off potential bad luck), but the spirit of giving was always an integral part of the potlatch.
This time of year is special to me. It reminds me of my great-grandmother, who relished the symbolic meshing of cultures inherent in America's Thanksgiving holiday. She liked to tell this story:
"In the late 1800s, a Pueblo Native American tribe felled a large tree and carved it into a long table, complete with seats, then dressed it for a grand feast where they welcomed some Irish immigrants who were new to the United States. Over the years, a little boy from the tribe and a little girl from the group of immigrants became friends, and eventually, they grew up and fell in love. But this caused a scandal among both of their families, so they fled to the rural Midwest to start a shared life and a family of their own, combining their ways.
"The man was known as Eddie Thompson. But my sisters and I called him Pop. He was your great-great grandfather." Then she would smile, pinch my cheeks and say, "So, that's why you get so beautifully brown in the summers and have those lovely, high cheekbones!"
Regardless of what I may feel politically about American history, one way or another, this week I can say for certain that I'll recall with fond thanksgiving the jovial and generous spirit of my amazing great-grandmother and her wonderful way with words. And I'm further grateful for her teaching me my own personal history the best way that she could: through story.
Do you have thanksgiving this week in your heart? And if so, why?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Nov 20, 2009
WEEKLY UPDATE: The Right Frame of Mind (Holiday Grief)
Summary: This is a stressful time of year, especially for me. I use soothing self-talk as one means to help keep myself grounded in and accepting of my present (a la Abraham Low's group Recovery International). Are you grateful for today?
This time of year really stresses me out. I cope, but it takes a lot of effort. If I'm coping well enough, the best I can hope for is that very few people really get how stressed out and over-taxed I am—because they aren't mind-readers, and I'm not wearing my inner thoughts on my sleeve (or on my face or in my voice or my actions). In other words, I'm not transparent, because I'm continuously keeping myself as grounded as I can.
Sometimes I manage to achieve this through self-talk. Some years ago, I studied Dr. Abraham Low's Recovery, Inc. technique in Chicago (now called Recovery International). I still remind myself that the "symptoms" I'm feeling (physical ones like a racing heart beat and shallow breathing or emotional ones like anxiety, fear, impatience, etc.) are "distressing, but not dangerous."
Low coined the phrase, "Symptoms are distressing, but not dangerous," to help "nervous persons," as he termed it, to be able to self-soothe. Instead of getting caught up in thoughts that might go something like, "I'll never get all this holiday shopping done; I'm such a procrastinator; all the smart people were finished shopping by Halloween!" Low's idea is that we can all alert ourselves to the fact that we're getting "worked up" and change our thinking, which can then change our brain chemistry and our body's responses. We can efficiently—and regularly, when practiced regularly—calm ourselves down anywhere at any time, based on the way we speak to ourselves in our heads.
Hyper-focusing on the future or on the past are common ways to distort your thinking. What do you obsess over around this time of year? Is it future-oriented or something from your past?
Grief can be a major emotional complication around the holidays, especially as families gather from near and far to emphasize the gaps and holes we see around the table. While grief is highly individual in a lot of ways, it is also universal. A major key to staying present and grounded is the emotion of acceptance.
Soothing self-talk can be one way to practice acceptance little by little. This week, I'm starting my gratitude list and sharing part of it publicly in an effort to speak my personal truth—hopefully, with humility. Today, I'm grateful for today. What about you ...?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
This time of year really stresses me out. I cope, but it takes a lot of effort. If I'm coping well enough, the best I can hope for is that very few people really get how stressed out and over-taxed I am—because they aren't mind-readers, and I'm not wearing my inner thoughts on my sleeve (or on my face or in my voice or my actions). In other words, I'm not transparent, because I'm continuously keeping myself as grounded as I can.
Sometimes I manage to achieve this through self-talk. Some years ago, I studied Dr. Abraham Low's Recovery, Inc. technique in Chicago (now called Recovery International). I still remind myself that the "symptoms" I'm feeling (physical ones like a racing heart beat and shallow breathing or emotional ones like anxiety, fear, impatience, etc.) are "distressing, but not dangerous."
Low coined the phrase, "Symptoms are distressing, but not dangerous," to help "nervous persons," as he termed it, to be able to self-soothe. Instead of getting caught up in thoughts that might go something like, "I'll never get all this holiday shopping done; I'm such a procrastinator; all the smart people were finished shopping by Halloween!" Low's idea is that we can all alert ourselves to the fact that we're getting "worked up" and change our thinking, which can then change our brain chemistry and our body's responses. We can efficiently—and regularly, when practiced regularly—calm ourselves down anywhere at any time, based on the way we speak to ourselves in our heads.
Hyper-focusing on the future or on the past are common ways to distort your thinking. What do you obsess over around this time of year? Is it future-oriented or something from your past?
Grief can be a major emotional complication around the holidays, especially as families gather from near and far to emphasize the gaps and holes we see around the table. While grief is highly individual in a lot of ways, it is also universal. A major key to staying present and grounded is the emotion of acceptance.
Soothing self-talk can be one way to practice acceptance little by little. This week, I'm starting my gratitude list and sharing part of it publicly in an effort to speak my personal truth—hopefully, with humility. Today, I'm grateful for today. What about you ...?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
Oct 23, 2009
WEEKLY UPDATE: Fighting the Fall Funk
Summary: Fall is beautiful! But it can also be a sad time of year as the sunshine recedes—especially for those of us who fight seasonal depression. I share two strategies (physical and emotional) that have helped me cope in today's post.
It's that time of year again: Crisp apples baked into pies, fuzzy sweaters wrapped around us for warmth, bright hues of burnt orange, fiery red and golden brown blazing on the treetops. It's fall!
When I was a kid, fall was my favorite time of year. I loved jumping into piles of leaves from my swing set, and carving pumpkins with my family. But as I progressed through elementary school, fall become a less and less happy time for me.
It wasn't until I was in high school that I started hearing about Seasonal Affective Disorder, or seasonal depression. That really resonated with me, so I began to study a little about it—and then a little about how to treat it. Depending on what's going on in my life, I've had years with almost no affect and years with pretty debilitating depression. And I've had years that I would categorize as somewhere between those two ends of the spectrum. Luckily, this year and last have both fallen (so far) into the lighter, happier category.
What's responsible for that?
The last two years have not been without their challenges: Last year, my home was hit with severe flooding after Hurricane Ike remnants raged across the Midwest; I was later hospitalized twice for illness. This year, my grandmother has been (successfully!) battling heart problems, and I recently lost an uncle to an accidental fire. The state of the global economy is no laughing matter, either. Yet my perspective remains grounded and relatively positive.
The reasons are two-fold:
(1) I've been focusing on physical strategies—like taking my vitamins (especially Vitamin D, which is often in depletion in the less sunny months across much of the U.S.), exercising and eating organically as regularly as possible, and getting at least 7 hours of sleep at night as often as I can.
(2) I've been practicing GRATITUDE.
Someone once told me that negativity and gratitude cannot easily coexist. Since that day, I've made a practice of counteracting pervasive negativity by thinking of something for which I'm thankful. It's easy! And it only gets easier the more I do it.
When our cognitive functions are impaired for any reason, we lose the ability to communicate what and how we really want to communicate. Making strides to shift our perspectives can help us reorient to get back on track and say what we need to say (no matter what the weather does!). Today, I'm thankful that you're reading this. And to you, I say, "Happy fall!"
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
It's that time of year again: Crisp apples baked into pies, fuzzy sweaters wrapped around us for warmth, bright hues of burnt orange, fiery red and golden brown blazing on the treetops. It's fall!
When I was a kid, fall was my favorite time of year. I loved jumping into piles of leaves from my swing set, and carving pumpkins with my family. But as I progressed through elementary school, fall become a less and less happy time for me.
It wasn't until I was in high school that I started hearing about Seasonal Affective Disorder, or seasonal depression. That really resonated with me, so I began to study a little about it—and then a little about how to treat it. Depending on what's going on in my life, I've had years with almost no affect and years with pretty debilitating depression. And I've had years that I would categorize as somewhere between those two ends of the spectrum. Luckily, this year and last have both fallen (so far) into the lighter, happier category.
What's responsible for that?
The last two years have not been without their challenges: Last year, my home was hit with severe flooding after Hurricane Ike remnants raged across the Midwest; I was later hospitalized twice for illness. This year, my grandmother has been (successfully!) battling heart problems, and I recently lost an uncle to an accidental fire. The state of the global economy is no laughing matter, either. Yet my perspective remains grounded and relatively positive.
The reasons are two-fold:
(1) I've been focusing on physical strategies—like taking my vitamins (especially Vitamin D, which is often in depletion in the less sunny months across much of the U.S.), exercising and eating organically as regularly as possible, and getting at least 7 hours of sleep at night as often as I can.
(2) I've been practicing GRATITUDE.
Someone once told me that negativity and gratitude cannot easily coexist. Since that day, I've made a practice of counteracting pervasive negativity by thinking of something for which I'm thankful. It's easy! And it only gets easier the more I do it.
When our cognitive functions are impaired for any reason, we lose the ability to communicate what and how we really want to communicate. Making strides to shift our perspectives can help us reorient to get back on track and say what we need to say (no matter what the weather does!). Today, I'm thankful that you're reading this. And to you, I say, "Happy fall!"
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2009
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