Summary: Waiting for the WOW Word of the Week? Try "Aspie," a derivative of Asperger for Hans Asperger, who first discovered the mild form of autism known now as Asperger Syndrome. And read on for the book of the week ...
Do you speak Aspie? Have you even heard of this interesting 'language' of sorts? Often made up of sound effects and repeated phrases, it can frequently lack emotional terminology and understanding, in no matter what primary language one speaks it.
Aspie is a self-applied term by some members of the autism community who have Asperger Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism or other forms of otherwise "high-functioning" (read: more socially adaptable) autistic disorders. For decades, experts in the U.S. believed that anyone on the wide-ranging autism spectrum—including those on the more socially functional end—do not marry or partner in long-term relationships. And while relationships do hold a unique set of challenges for people with ASDs, or autistic spectrum disorders, they are not impossible.
So, here's another question: What interest does a Communications Coach have in Asperger Syndrome?
Well, this coach has a vested interest—especially now that I've co-authored a book on the subject. The Partner's Guide to Asperger Syndrome contains information gained in interviews with over 100 women married to men on the spectrum, plus some of their spouses, as well. As one woman has said, "If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, these couples feel like they come from different galaxies!"
Here's one story directly from the book:
Processing of emotional communication
As we have seen, the ASD person likely finds it difficult or impossible to process large streams of verbal information that is shared by the NS person during a typical conversation or even a brief verbal exchange. This becomes even more complicated if the message is on an emotional level. This may be processed by her ASD husband as merely sounds with little meaning.
This becomes even more complicated if the message is an emotional one. Even if he is able to hear all the words being spoken, the ASD person may not know what the NS speaker sees as important, so that he can understand the intended message.
Many spouses have shared with us that positive emotions can become overwhelming for their ASD husbands, too.
NS Kaye, for example, says that her husband Pete, who is on the autism spectrum, sometimes shouts at her in anger when she excitedly points out a rainbow in the sky. Kaye explains: "He can't tell the difference between when I shout for joy versus when I shout from anger."
Each chapter—including chapter 2 on Communication Differences, as quoted above—ends with a list of "Lessons Learned." In this case, these include directives to "Be concise in your communications and point out what you think is the most important part of what you are saying. Leave out unnecessary information" and to "Ask (if you are uncertain) how your spouse has interpreted a communication" among other suggestions. These lessons came directly from the couples interviewed who shared what's worked for them.
The Partner's Guide to Asperger Syndrome is available at Jessica Kingsley Press or Amazon.com.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2011
Showing posts with label Asperger Syndrome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Asperger Syndrome. Show all posts
Dec 5, 2011
Jan 3, 2011
WORD OF THE WEEK: Sabbatical
Summary: What happens when your vacation is ruined? What's the worst bad vacation story you have—and how did you react to it? Through studying this week's word, sabbatical, we can swap bad vacation stories and share tools to get through life's such surprising circumstances.
Sabbatical (suh - BA - teh - CUHL) - As a noun, it means a break or a change in normal routine, especially from work. As an adjective, it describes the time period of the break (or the break itself): "sabbatical year"; "sabbatical trip." Professors and clergy are typically given this time off every set number of years. From the Hebrew word shabath, for rest, this word strolled its way through Latin and Greek to finally enter English in 1880 when Harvard granted the first Sabbatical to its professors to be instituted every seven years. Interestingly, shabath is also the antecedent to the word Sabbath, which helped to derive our Saturday—along with some other religious-based words, like Saturn.
Last week was my personal sabbatical. I took a week off from blogging (and from all other work, as life would have it)—initially to focus on writing a book I'm co-authoring with Susan J. Moreno of MAAP Services and Marci Wheeler of the Indiana Resource Center for Autism. The book, which will focus on marriages where one partner has Asperger Syndrome, is due out later this year. I call rest periods like this my "writing sabbaticals."
But seasonal depression and legitimate grief clouded my creativity last week, as a family member went in the hospital—thankfully to recover and be sent home this week—and a friend passed away. I was glad to have the break on my calendar, so that I could tend to my own needs and feel my emotions, rather than push them aside to tend to other matters and only have them explode on me later when suppression inevitably doesn't work anymore.
Has that ever happened to you? You plan a vacation or a little break, and you look forward to it with gusto. But things just don't go as planned. Life circumstances change the reality of your expectations. How do you handle it? Do you pout and simper and throw yourself a pity party, sharing your blues with everyone you meet? Do you suffer in silence, acting stoic (but secretly taking your disappointment out on those closest to you)? Or are you one of those who springs into action, scouring the internet and the self-help bookshelves for anything that can serve as a tool? I admit I've fallen into each category at some point in my life. This time, I yo-yoed between wallowing alone and using the tools I already know. Compared to the past, this time I was flexible.
What tools do you already know that can help you roll with life's unplanned punches? This week, I'm asking you to share your story. I'll compile some answers and put them together for all of us to learn from later this week.
Here's to a healthy and positive 2011. Let's start it off right: Speak your truth and share your story or stories now. (And check out a few "bad vacation" tales at Bored.com to get a preview.)
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Sabbatical (suh - BA - teh - CUHL) - As a noun, it means a break or a change in normal routine, especially from work. As an adjective, it describes the time period of the break (or the break itself): "sabbatical year"; "sabbatical trip." Professors and clergy are typically given this time off every set number of years. From the Hebrew word shabath, for rest, this word strolled its way through Latin and Greek to finally enter English in 1880 when Harvard granted the first Sabbatical to its professors to be instituted every seven years. Interestingly, shabath is also the antecedent to the word Sabbath, which helped to derive our Saturday—along with some other religious-based words, like Saturn.
Last week was my personal sabbatical. I took a week off from blogging (and from all other work, as life would have it)—initially to focus on writing a book I'm co-authoring with Susan J. Moreno of MAAP Services and Marci Wheeler of the Indiana Resource Center for Autism. The book, which will focus on marriages where one partner has Asperger Syndrome, is due out later this year. I call rest periods like this my "writing sabbaticals."
But seasonal depression and legitimate grief clouded my creativity last week, as a family member went in the hospital—thankfully to recover and be sent home this week—and a friend passed away. I was glad to have the break on my calendar, so that I could tend to my own needs and feel my emotions, rather than push them aside to tend to other matters and only have them explode on me later when suppression inevitably doesn't work anymore.
Has that ever happened to you? You plan a vacation or a little break, and you look forward to it with gusto. But things just don't go as planned. Life circumstances change the reality of your expectations. How do you handle it? Do you pout and simper and throw yourself a pity party, sharing your blues with everyone you meet? Do you suffer in silence, acting stoic (but secretly taking your disappointment out on those closest to you)? Or are you one of those who springs into action, scouring the internet and the self-help bookshelves for anything that can serve as a tool? I admit I've fallen into each category at some point in my life. This time, I yo-yoed between wallowing alone and using the tools I already know. Compared to the past, this time I was flexible.
What tools do you already know that can help you roll with life's unplanned punches? This week, I'm asking you to share your story. I'll compile some answers and put them together for all of us to learn from later this week.
Here's to a healthy and positive 2011. Let's start it off right: Speak your truth and share your story or stories now. (And check out a few "bad vacation" tales at Bored.com to get a preview.)
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Oct 25, 2010
WORD OF THE WEEK: Renege
Summary: In studying this week's featured vocabulary word, I own up to a broken promise to you, and relate how that's like the wishy-washy pronunciation of the WOW word. I also offer you a free preview of my online communications workbook.
Renege - a verb meaning to deny or revoke something, or to go back on a promise. For example, "That blogger reneged on her promise to post a very interesting article last week about living with Asperger Syndrome!"
Forgive me for being behind in my blog posts. I do have the best intentions, but not always the best time management skills. (Or as my colleague James terms it more fittingly: time blocking.) In short, I can sometimes be unorganized. The article about Brian King is still forthcoming. And in the meantime, I hope you'll check out the free preview of the Speak Your Truth communications e-workbook that I did dedicate more of my attention—and a decent little block of time—to last week.
Probably the most interesting thing about this week's word is that it has at least three totally different, but acceptable, pronunciations: rih - NEG, rih - NAYG or ree - NIG. In the U.K., (where pronunciation is also varied), it's even acceptable to pronounce this word rih - NEEG.
Why so many differing vowel sounds? It may seem like the answer is "Why, to confuse you, of course!" but that isn't so. The truth of the matter is that this word has been handed down to us from its 16th century Latin origin through a variety of languages, including Spanish, German and Old English—each of which pronounces vowel sounds quite distinctly differently. Perhaps it makes sense that a word that means "to go back on" is unreliable in its pronunciation?
I don't know. How good is your word?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Renege - a verb meaning to deny or revoke something, or to go back on a promise. For example, "That blogger reneged on her promise to post a very interesting article last week about living with Asperger Syndrome!"
Forgive me for being behind in my blog posts. I do have the best intentions, but not always the best time management skills. (Or as my colleague James terms it more fittingly: time blocking.) In short, I can sometimes be unorganized. The article about Brian King is still forthcoming. And in the meantime, I hope you'll check out the free preview of the Speak Your Truth communications e-workbook that I did dedicate more of my attention—and a decent little block of time—to last week.
Probably the most interesting thing about this week's word is that it has at least three totally different, but acceptable, pronunciations: rih - NEG, rih - NAYG or ree - NIG. In the U.K., (where pronunciation is also varied), it's even acceptable to pronounce this word rih - NEEG.
Why so many differing vowel sounds? It may seem like the answer is "Why, to confuse you, of course!" but that isn't so. The truth of the matter is that this word has been handed down to us from its 16th century Latin origin through a variety of languages, including Spanish, German and Old English—each of which pronounces vowel sounds quite distinctly differently. Perhaps it makes sense that a word that means "to go back on" is unreliable in its pronunciation?
I don't know. How good is your word?
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Oct 18, 2010
WORD OF THE WEEK: Prosopagnosia
Summary: This week's WOW vocabulary word features a common aspect among those on the autism spectrum.
Can you i
magine waking up in the morning, stumbling into the bathroom to shower and not recognizing the person in the mirror? This is the experience of people with extreme prosopagnosia, a medical condition sometimes called face blindness.
It's asserted that people who have the condition, often known as prosopagnosics, generally have difficulty recognizing places, objects and/or emotions, too. Particularly, they have a hard time recognizing emotions as they are displayed on the face or in body language. Sound familiar? It should. It describes people on the autism spectrum with HFA (High Functioning Autism) or Asperger Syndrome—all part of this week's featured brain challenge.
The word itself was coined in 1947 in a research paper by German neurologist Joachim Bodamer, who concocted it by combining one Greek word, prosopon (or face) with the medical term for recognition impairment, agnosia. Interestingly enough, agnosia is the combo of two more Greek words: gnosis for knowledge and a for the negative, as in "not known." The American pronunciation is PRAH - so - pag - NO - zhya.
Click here to test your own recognition of faces.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Can you i
magine waking up in the morning, stumbling into the bathroom to shower and not recognizing the person in the mirror? This is the experience of people with extreme prosopagnosia, a medical condition sometimes called face blindness.It's asserted that people who have the condition, often known as prosopagnosics, generally have difficulty recognizing places, objects and/or emotions, too. Particularly, they have a hard time recognizing emotions as they are displayed on the face or in body language. Sound familiar? It should. It describes people on the autism spectrum with HFA (High Functioning Autism) or Asperger Syndrome—all part of this week's featured brain challenge.
The word itself was coined in 1947 in a research paper by German neurologist Joachim Bodamer, who concocted it by combining one Greek word, prosopon (or face) with the medical term for recognition impairment, agnosia. Interestingly enough, agnosia is the combo of two more Greek words: gnosis for knowledge and a for the negative, as in "not known." The American pronunciation is PRAH - so - pag - NO - zhya.
Click here to test your own recognition of faces.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
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