Summary: How do you handle stress? What's your biggest communication stumbling block? They're likely the same thing. Take the poll to the left (under "Polls") and I'll tell you next week how both are related to the way you speak to yourself in your head (self-talk).
So, you just wrapped up a work project that you put a lot of hard work, time and attention into, and now you're looking forward to a little pat on the back from your boss and co-workers—or at least a little recognition. And when it doesn't come ... you SNAP.
Whether that means you verbally snap at your assistant or you sit down at your desk and sob so audibly that people can hear you through the door and down the hall, the fact is you've met your threshold for stress. And you need to get to the other side of that threshold in one piece with your dignity—and your job—intact.
This is not an easy process. In fact there are probably as many steps (and a lot more time and attention) to this as there were in that work project that got you here to begin with. But it's worth it. The question now is: What's the first step?
You may have noticed a shiny new widget in the left-hand column of this blog page: The poll section. One reader (okay, I confess: the blog writer) has already admitted how she handles stress, or what her quickest emotional response to stress frequently is. What's your most common emotional response when life isn't going your way? That same emotion is more often than not the issue that's most likely to keep you from communicating well in trying times.
Do you want to learn how to say what you mean—even under stress—so that you can get what you want out of life? Answer the poll to the left, and tell me if you're like me (quick to anger) or how we're different. Next week, I'll tell you what this says about the way you speak to yourself! (Oh, and if you aren't a member of Blogger, but still want to participate, just post a comment here. Remember, comments are open to everyone!)
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Jan 15, 2010
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Hey there. I came upon this post more than two months after it was originally posted, so please forgive the belated comment. : ) What keeps me from speaking the truth (at least in my limited romantic life) is the fear of hurting someone. So I don't speak the truth, and instead say the things I know the recipient of my comments wants to hear. It's easier for me because hurting someone is such a phobia of mine. In the short run, it works -- I made the person happy, and I like making the people happy. In the long run, it doesn't. I realize I haven't been true to myself or my partner, and I find myself in a deeer hole than I originally was in.
ReplyDeleteIn order to overcome this problem, I have been trying to keep in mind that respecting yourself and your partner through honesty is the best way to keep a relationship healthy. Both will be happier in the long run, and that was the goal in the first place.
Of course, always easier said than done. : )
You're on the right path, Ryan! Thanks for speaking up & speaking your truth. And best of luck with the more honest approach to relationships ...
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