Summary: When good vacations go bad, it's easy to get caught up in the natural disappointment you feel. But how do you recover? Rather than returning home feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation, read the 4 steps below that help you STOP and assess your situation to change your attitude.
Last Monday, I wrote about the history and meaning of the word sabbatical. I also shared how my own self-imposed writing sabbatical went awry. And I asked you to share your stories about vacations that took a wrong turn—and how you coped with the unexpected change in plans.
Here are some of the stories I received:
• Delia said she was in the midst of a bad vacation, herself. She, her husband, and their toddler had taken a two-week trip to Boston—only to be ambushed by the flu. Instead of sight-seeing, they were holed up in their hotel room for days on end, coping with their colds.
• Christine recalled a vaca to Glacier National Park where "one walloping argument ... kind of ruined a lovely place."
• Melissa and Kim said they'd also experienced fighting on supposedly romantic getaways, though they preferred not to share the details. Meanwhile, Lee Ann said she'd never had a romantic getaway with her husband! I wonder which is more emotionally upsetting?
• Mark, who is a seminary student, didn't share any vacation stories, but did say he appreciates the word choice of sabbatical—and that he'll be appreciating it even more in the years to come!
As for their emotional responses to these experiences, Delia's outlook was the most optimistic: She shared that, despite their disappointment, they were, "staying positive and united as a family." It's much more difficult to be positive all on your own, as was likely the case with the others when arguments got in the way of good expectations. Christine said she and her husband, "had spent way too much time with just the two of us at that point" when they fought on their trip.
What's the recipe for finding your happy place when you're away from home? Here are some steps that may help you STOP and reassess your situation:
1. STOP - The second you notice yourself getting worked up and upset (whether it's because you notice yourself picking a fight with others around you or because you have an emotional response like wanting to cry), stop whatever you're doing that instant. Even if you're in public, it's okay to walk away for a moment.
2. TAKE A MOMENT - Taking a moment for yourself is imperative to moving forward with peace when emotions are beginning to overwhelm you.
3. OBSERVE YOURSELF - In order to step out of yourself to objectively observe, ask yourself, "What am I feeling physically?" and "What am I feeling emotionally?" as well as "What are my thoughts?" (Read more in these two posts about methods by Abraham Low and Byron Katie.)
4. PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK - It's important to congratulate yourself for keeping your composure. This is where affirmations come in very handy. (I've written a lot on the subject of affirmations in this blog, so I encourage you to search the phrase and check out these many posts, in addition to clicking this link.) With a healthier frame of mind, you can usually rescue your day, if not your entire trip, and find the funny side of the situation.
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Showing posts with label bad vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad vacation. Show all posts
Jan 10, 2011
Jan 3, 2011
WORD OF THE WEEK: Sabbatical
Summary: What happens when your vacation is ruined? What's the worst bad vacation story you have—and how did you react to it? Through studying this week's word, sabbatical, we can swap bad vacation stories and share tools to get through life's such surprising circumstances.
Sabbatical (suh - BA - teh - CUHL) - As a noun, it means a break or a change in normal routine, especially from work. As an adjective, it describes the time period of the break (or the break itself): "sabbatical year"; "sabbatical trip." Professors and clergy are typically given this time off every set number of years. From the Hebrew word shabath, for rest, this word strolled its way through Latin and Greek to finally enter English in 1880 when Harvard granted the first Sabbatical to its professors to be instituted every seven years. Interestingly, shabath is also the antecedent to the word Sabbath, which helped to derive our Saturday—along with some other religious-based words, like Saturn.
Last week was my personal sabbatical. I took a week off from blogging (and from all other work, as life would have it)—initially to focus on writing a book I'm co-authoring with Susan J. Moreno of MAAP Services and Marci Wheeler of the Indiana Resource Center for Autism. The book, which will focus on marriages where one partner has Asperger Syndrome, is due out later this year. I call rest periods like this my "writing sabbaticals."
But seasonal depression and legitimate grief clouded my creativity last week, as a family member went in the hospital—thankfully to recover and be sent home this week—and a friend passed away. I was glad to have the break on my calendar, so that I could tend to my own needs and feel my emotions, rather than push them aside to tend to other matters and only have them explode on me later when suppression inevitably doesn't work anymore.
Has that ever happened to you? You plan a vacation or a little break, and you look forward to it with gusto. But things just don't go as planned. Life circumstances change the reality of your expectations. How do you handle it? Do you pout and simper and throw yourself a pity party, sharing your blues with everyone you meet? Do you suffer in silence, acting stoic (but secretly taking your disappointment out on those closest to you)? Or are you one of those who springs into action, scouring the internet and the self-help bookshelves for anything that can serve as a tool? I admit I've fallen into each category at some point in my life. This time, I yo-yoed between wallowing alone and using the tools I already know. Compared to the past, this time I was flexible.
What tools do you already know that can help you roll with life's unplanned punches? This week, I'm asking you to share your story. I'll compile some answers and put them together for all of us to learn from later this week.
Here's to a healthy and positive 2011. Let's start it off right: Speak your truth and share your story or stories now. (And check out a few "bad vacation" tales at Bored.com to get a preview.)
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
Sabbatical (suh - BA - teh - CUHL) - As a noun, it means a break or a change in normal routine, especially from work. As an adjective, it describes the time period of the break (or the break itself): "sabbatical year"; "sabbatical trip." Professors and clergy are typically given this time off every set number of years. From the Hebrew word shabath, for rest, this word strolled its way through Latin and Greek to finally enter English in 1880 when Harvard granted the first Sabbatical to its professors to be instituted every seven years. Interestingly, shabath is also the antecedent to the word Sabbath, which helped to derive our Saturday—along with some other religious-based words, like Saturn.
Last week was my personal sabbatical. I took a week off from blogging (and from all other work, as life would have it)—initially to focus on writing a book I'm co-authoring with Susan J. Moreno of MAAP Services and Marci Wheeler of the Indiana Resource Center for Autism. The book, which will focus on marriages where one partner has Asperger Syndrome, is due out later this year. I call rest periods like this my "writing sabbaticals."
But seasonal depression and legitimate grief clouded my creativity last week, as a family member went in the hospital—thankfully to recover and be sent home this week—and a friend passed away. I was glad to have the break on my calendar, so that I could tend to my own needs and feel my emotions, rather than push them aside to tend to other matters and only have them explode on me later when suppression inevitably doesn't work anymore.
Has that ever happened to you? You plan a vacation or a little break, and you look forward to it with gusto. But things just don't go as planned. Life circumstances change the reality of your expectations. How do you handle it? Do you pout and simper and throw yourself a pity party, sharing your blues with everyone you meet? Do you suffer in silence, acting stoic (but secretly taking your disappointment out on those closest to you)? Or are you one of those who springs into action, scouring the internet and the self-help bookshelves for anything that can serve as a tool? I admit I've fallen into each category at some point in my life. This time, I yo-yoed between wallowing alone and using the tools I already know. Compared to the past, this time I was flexible.
What tools do you already know that can help you roll with life's unplanned punches? This week, I'm asking you to share your story. I'll compile some answers and put them together for all of us to learn from later this week.
Here's to a healthy and positive 2011. Let's start it off right: Speak your truth and share your story or stories now. (And check out a few "bad vacation" tales at Bored.com to get a preview.)
© KiKi Productions, Inc. 2010
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